In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps. Proverbs 16:9

Sunday, July 24, 2011

Emotional Muck from Being Stuck

It seems like the two times I blog are either when a new step in our adoption process has been achieved or when I just have to get some of the emotional muck out of the way. Since we are no closer to getting a court date than the day we received our referral, this post would fall under the emotional muck category.

Generally speaking, if you had a "normal" (which there is no such thing) adoption, we would have heard what our court date would be by now. As luck would have it, we STILL have not even been submitted to court at this point. From what I understand, the regional MOWA is making some changes and somehow we got stuck in the middle of it. They have to sign off on our paperwork, but there is no paperwork coming out of that region. It could happen tomorrow, but the clock is tick tocking toward court closure on August 6th.

I can tell you that this low lying frustration with our stuckness results in a low level ache, but on occasion it rises to the surface. The signs that it is bubbling to the top are when I become less patient with my kids, or a random tear here or there, etc . . . However, I always know when I'm nearing my ability to cope with things in my own power, when my music and reading selections begin to shift. When I skip over Katy Perry's, "California Girls", for a good old fashion and mildly nerdy (or outrageously nerdy according to my husband) selection from Amy Grant's "Collection" album. When I put down the latest page turning medical thriller for Philip Yancey's "Prayer, Does it Make a Difference?" I'm searching for words of comfort, words that remind me that God is still working to weave our family together, words that encourage me to lean on Him, words that tell me that it is OK to feel the hurt, but that beauty will rise soon enough in the face of our child.

Maybe I am being mellow dramatic, but my baby is in Ethiopia for an indefinite period of time! I'm not going to claim that life with a 4 and 2 year old is boing and I just need a 3rd child to spice things up a bit. I am honestly a smidge curious to see how things roll (or rock) around here when "N" arrives. Anyway, I'll leave you with a couple pictures of the 2 kids that currently reside here and you can just imaging what it would look like to add a little brown baby into the mix. If you think of it, please pray that his paperwork will make it to the courts in Addis before court closes in a couple of weeks, so that we don't have to just imagine him being with us.

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