My all time favorite dancing is swing dancing. One reason I like it so much, is that it has actual moves that you can learn. Even if you lack certain dance talent, you can learn how to execute the moves at the right time and you may appear to be able to somewhat dance. The part of our life that feels more like a swing dance, is that we have a little bit more of a schedule back in our lives. Or maybe I should just call it what it is - we have a nap time again, which has added some real sanity back into my life. It wasn't easy, but this is a move that makes our family look like we kind of know what we are doing. The first trial of nap time, came with screaming, pinching, etc. . . for about 30 minutes, but you wouldn't even believe what it looked like today! She crawled in my lap, while I was sitting in the rocking chair, we played a little, and then she wrapped her arms around my waist, laid her head on my chest and quickly fell asleep. (Insert tear). It was precious.
We are also doing a little bit of regular club type dancing. At my college, a dance was called a "function," because Baptists don't dance, you know? I definitely feel like I am at "a function." I feel a little uncertain of how I look on the dance floor of child raising, without specific dance steps to follow. All of my kids feel very delicate right now and there is no question that they are. They are all experiencing some sort of trauma, but we are working on giving them all a voice and making sure they feel connected. If that sounds like it is straight out of a Karyn Purvis book on adoption, it probably is. I know you are not supposed to leave the side of your child for like 2 years, but come hell or high water, I was not going to miss her conference in Denver this weekend. So, Dave and I split up the sessions and it was certainly worth it. Naturally, I have already found it hard to recall any of the information as tantrums arise, but it has given us a direction to head. It was the perfect timing for it (minus the fact that we couldn't both attend all the sessions), because before you adopt, you sit through those conferences just praying that your soon to be child won't be one of the severe cases on the clips they show, but if you wait too long, then you just have more retraining to do.
And the last dance we are doing a little less of each day, is head banging. Phew! There are still daily tantrums and life is far far from back to "normal," but I'm pretty sure we are making some progress. Yesterday, as we sat in church, with Maci on Dave's lap (of course) she was just smiling and looking at us and I felt so proud of her that I could hardly contain myself. I wanted to stand up and tell everyone to look at how precious she is. What an amazing feeling, to be falling in love with a child that I really only met a month ago. I know as soon as I press "publish," our entire house will fall apart and the next post will be about how we are back to ground zero, but for now, I'll bask in the feeling of progress:)
I know some of you have already seen this clip, but how could I resist posting it again, in light of this blog title?