Sunday, September 30, 2012
I can't believe it has been so long since I have written. There are just not many themes to my thoughts lately, so anything I write is more likely to be a ramble or a simple account of life, rather than anything anyone would want to read, so I'll likely keep it short and choppy.
Maci is doing well by most accounts. Two weeks ago, I was on the cusp of writing a blog titled, "She is Mine and I am Hers." It was going to be beautiful and you would have definitely needed a tissue or two. It was going to highlight how close I felt to her and how I was surprised at how deeply I loved this child in a short amount of time. I was arranging the sentences in my head, on my runs, as I cooked (just kidding-I don't cook) etc. . . Then the past two weeks happened and she has tried my patience to the moon and back. Since Maci and I have taken a little step back in our relationship, I couldn't in clean conscience write my originally dreamed up post. I am hoping our little detour off the attachment path is just that - a little detour. It has made me glad that I decided to keep her out of preschool this semester, to give us a little alone time, at least one morning a week. I have needed it. When she is not competing for attention with her siblings, she is so endearing, so funny, so amazing, so everything great. I still think it is that familiar cycle of getting so close that she feels uncomfortable, so she begins to test and I can assure you, if she is testing me, I have not passed. I thank God for his grace, because I have needed a lot of it lately.
The last time I wrote, it was about our Goosing idea. We Goosed our first victims about a month ago and it was super fun. The process of adoption is just plain brutal sometimes, so hopefully, we (Goosey included) were able to encourage this family a little bit. We Goosed some people that were sitting with their referral, yet with some uncertainty looming. That is just the pits!
Speaking of Goosey. The proverbial carrot has been hung out yet again. I won't go into all the details, but there could be some movement on the horizon. Of course, we've all heard that before about eight hundred times, so we aren't FREAKING OUT yet. OK, maybe I have done a little freaking out, but Dave has stayed relatively calm, to nobody's surprise. For a couple of days, I let myself try on the cloth of thinking about this potentially huge decision we'll have to make and it wasn't pretty folks. However, this past week, I have now been reassured by the Southern MOWA that they are still playing the "next week" game, so I have decided to pack up those clothes for when SMOWA actually puts their pen to the paper and writes their two little initials on his paperwork.
Alrighty - there we have it - short and choppy, like I promised. I think having three kids takes all the flow out of my writing. Maybe if we got back to an even number, like 4, then my thoughts would reorganize more liltingly . . . . or, more likely, I would lose all ability to even speak the English language on any comprehensible level. On that note, goodnight all.