For about 48 hours, it was literally difficult to catch my breath. This was a HUGE decision. The second option was off the table for sure - after Dave met little N, there was no chance we were going to be able to say goodbye to him. The option to stay the course didn't feel like much of an option, because who can live in that state of limbo for an indefinite amount of time? On Thursday morning, I had the whole morning to myself, so I finally had a good chunk of time to read a little of the old B-I-B-L-E, journal and just pray. I walked away from that time about 90 percent more calm, a regular heartbeat, a normal breathing pattern and basically with an answer. I really felt like God was saying, "You don't even have to make this decision . . . .I will." So, by Friday we had our answer and that was to leave the door open for two kids from Ethiopia. It is out of our hands now. If N's paperwork gets signed before we get a new referral, then we will just be brining him home and I would be so happy! If we get a referral and then N's paperwork gets signed, then I will be so panicked . . . and so happy!
If I had to guess right now, I think we will just be bringing N home, but Dave would guess the opposite. Things seem to be moving with N's paperwork, but the regional Mowa where "the Goose," lives, has been stalling and breaking promises every week, practically, since July, so I don't put too much stock in the "next week" and "tomorrow" promises we continue to hear. So, I wonder how all this is going to play out? Will N's paperwork get signed today? Will we get referral by the end of this week? Will we be making four trips to Ethiopia next year? Will we be be buying a car that will fit 4 kids? Will I ever even get to hold N?
Stayed tuned to find out what happens next.