In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps. Proverbs 16:9

Thursday, November 10, 2011

A Big Decision

A little over a week ago, we got a letter in the mail from our agency. In it, they expressed their apologies for putting us through the past five months of torture and they gave us options for what is next. The options were to stay the uncertain course with N, return to the waitlist for another referral and say goodbye to N, or get back on the waitlist AND wait for N to become available.

For about 48 hours, it was literally difficult to catch my breath. This was a HUGE decision. The second option was off the table for sure - after Dave met little N, there was no chance we were going to be able to say goodbye to him. The option to stay the course didn't feel like much of an option, because who can live in that state of limbo for an indefinite amount of time? On Thursday morning, I had the whole morning to myself, so I finally had a good chunk of time to read a little of the old B-I-B-L-E, journal and just pray. I walked away from that time about 90 percent more calm, a regular heartbeat, a normal breathing pattern and basically with an answer. I really felt like God was saying, "You don't even have to make this decision . . . .I will." So, by Friday we had our answer and that was to leave the door open for two kids from Ethiopia. It is out of our hands now. If N's paperwork gets signed before we get a new referral, then we will just be brining him home and I would be so happy! If we get a referral and then N's paperwork gets signed, then I will be so panicked . . . and so happy!

If I had to guess right now, I think we will just be bringing N home, but Dave would guess the opposite. Things seem to be moving with N's paperwork, but the regional Mowa where "the Goose," lives, has been stalling and breaking promises every week, practically, since July, so I don't put too much stock in the "next week" and "tomorrow" promises we continue to hear. So, I wonder how all this is going to play out? Will N's paperwork get signed today? Will we get referral by the end of this week? Will we be making four trips to Ethiopia next year? Will we be be buying a car that will fit 4 kids? Will I ever even get to hold N?

Stayed tuned to find out what happens next.





9 comments:

Anonymous said...

Praying for you guys....and for N.....sorry for the heartbreak....glad you found healing in his word.
Becki Francy

Noodles said...

You are amazing holly and amazing things will happen for you. I can't wait to see it! You're in my prayers.

Shera said...

I got so excited as I read this post, Holly! I can't wait to see how it all unfolds. N and any other child would be lucky to be added to your family! xoxo

Jodi said...

Been praying for all of you special families who are going through this horrible time! Isn't it great when God give you His peace! Will continue to pray for y'all!

Jodi said...

I hadn't realized that you just commented on my blog - maybe as I was reading yours! :) Yes, the worries -arggggg!!!

Unknown said...

We are praying for all of you! Special prayers for N and more importantly those holding things up. May God place the pen on the paper for them and help them sign...

-Meister

Emily said...

ok- i'm praying for 2-- because God never gives you more than you cna handle-- and that means TWO less orphans in the world and TWO more kids who will know and love God!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I thought ben was OUR last -- but God had 2 more for us:) i hope you get to be doubly blessed! we do have a mini van we need to sell!!!!

sharon said...

Dave and Holly, We wait with you for the great plans that God has. I love Isaiah 55:8 "My thoughts are nothing like your thoughts, says the Lord. And my ways are far beyond anything you could imagine." I like to think that I have a pretty good imagination and I can imagine you with 4 children, no problem. Just think what god might be imagining for you even at this very second.

Melissa said...

What an amazing story the Lord is writing in your family! I'm looking forward to reading the next chapter!