I'm pretty sure that I have already established that Fridays are hard. It continues to stand as a marker of time from the day Dave died. The intensity in which I miss Dave also continues to stand strong. I can manage through a day fairly well, but when I sit still and miss him, I still FULLY miss him. Forlorn Fridays are not fun. So, let's talk about Thursday.
I wanted to make sure to give Spencer the heads up, before he found himself hearing about it at school and not knowing what he’ll do on that night, without a dad. When I first read the title, he instantaneously lit up, but the light was quickly distinguished by a look of panic and then watery eyes. Oh, Lord, help. He immediately asked if I could go, because he didn’t have a dad anymore. I said I couldn’t go, because I'm not a dude, but that he could choose one of the fine fellows that have committed to contorting their feet into Dave's one of a kind shoes, whenever the need arises. I went through the long list of amazing guys that are in his life and each one came with a side to side head shake. After a couple rounds of him saying that he didn't want to bring anyone, but he wanted to go, he casually walked through the kitchen after school on Tuesday and said, "I guess, Mr. Jim." The phone call was in and the reply was a yes.
The big day was yesterday. In the morning, I awkwardly climbed the ladder, up to his bed and rattled him awake. He looked at me with genuine excitement and announced that it was, "Dads, Dudes and Donuts Day!" Either donuts have such power they can cover gaping holes in life, or he was feeling good about this special event and his plan to allow Jim to bring him. I'm really hoping that it wasn't just the donuts talking. Anyway, that little glimmer in his eye truly made my day. It was a huge encouragement to me. I could maybe see a trace of the Father taking care of my child's heart. I think so.
The rest of the day just felt a little lighter than usual. It was sunny and warm, so I walked with my friend, Emma, and my dog, who appears to be an emotional eater according to his weight gain. The girls were in good moods most of the day. I talked on the phone, which is actually a big deal when you have two four year olds in the house. I celebrated a friend's Birthday party and I went to Bible study. It was a good day and it felt good.