Spring Break Day

Yesterday Dave took the day off and we had our Spring Break Vacation all in one day and it couldn't have been better. It started off with a trail run that starts about a 1/2 miles from our house. Then we loaded up and headed to Chik-Fil-A for a free breakfast to negate the run. Then we headed to our big vacation destination - Cave of the Winds. I hadn't been there since about 5th grade and it was even better than I remembered. It was fun to hear Spencer say "Wow" and "Cool" at every turn with such wonder!

Then, when we returned home, our I171H form was in the mail!!!!!! That is the next step in our adoption and a super important piece of paper, which will now need to be notarized, certified by the Secretary of State and sent to Washington. It means that our dossier will be complete and we will be able to accept a referral when the time comes. When I emailed about receiving this document, my coordinator also told us that we are now at #12 on the infant boy list. I don't know if I missed one along the way, or they just haven't posted it yet, but we are one closer (remember that #11 got a referral a few weeks ago).

Speaking of adoption stuff, for all of the panic and craziness the last two weeks, there has been little new information about the new process. From what I have read (which everything is a little different) it seems like they are really trying to complete the cases that are in process now, to relieve the backlog in the courts. When they have pushed through all of those, MOWA will not be completing the same number of letters as they had been previously. However, it sounds like they are not going to set a number to process per day, but just do as many per day as they can, while still maintaining the integrity of the adoption process in ET. So, that is GREAT news. It still means a slowdown, but not a stop. Also, from what I have read, it sounds like the ET government desires that adoptions remain open. So, for now, we are continuing to wait and have a lot of hope that we will be bringing home a baby (preferably a 1-2 year old) in 2011.

Here are a couple pictures from Spring Break Week. A hike in Cheyenne Canyon
Spence and Leah's first time to meet their 2nd cousin.
Cave of the Winds

The Trail in our neighborhood that we get to enjoy, now that we've started running.

Should we celebrate?

Usually after each time we move a spot on the list, I am soooo excited and I get in a mood where nothing can get me down. In light of the instability of Ethiopia's adoption program, I feel like there are some reigns holding me back from my usual excitement. I am still thrilled, but I can feel that I am not allowing myself to get all crazy about it. I am having a hard time trying to figure out where I should sit during these waiting months. Last Friday, I just let myself be sad for an afternoon - feeling the impact of the uncertainty with ET adoptions. But I knew I didn't want to stay there. When I feel bummed and even preoccupied with all of this, I do continue to go back to what I wrote in my last post. I can't always make myself feel or not feel a certain way, but I can know truths about our situation. My God antenna is high right now. So much of what I hear in church or even on facebook, of all places, feels like it applies to me and our adoption. For instance, someone wrote on facebook a quote that I am still thinking about by William Barclay:

"When we pray, we must always remember three things. We must remember THE LOVE OF GOD, which ever seeks and desires only what is best for us. We must remember THE WISDOM OF GOD, which alone knows what is best for us. We must remember THE POWER OF GOD, which alone can bring to pass that which is best for us. He who prays with a perfect belief and trust in the love, the wisdom and the power of God will find God's peace." AMEN!

It's hard to pray, Lord, give me what is best, because all I want to pray is please give me this cutie little baby that I am picturing in my mind.

Anyway, some good news that hasn't been 100% substantiated, but really close, is that MOWA is deciding to process 20 letters per day instead of the initial cutback number of 5. That is a big difference. If that is the case, then things will slow down, but that is totally fine. It's like when you go shopping and come home and tell your husband that you spent $300, so that when you tell him that you actually only spent $70 it doesn't seem like that big of a deal. Maybe MOWA is just using some psychology here?

If you think of it, keep praying for the orphan and adoption situation in Ethiopia. Thanks to all who read this, it means a lot.

Our First Potential Roadblock

It is no secret that the adoption process, whether international or domestic, can come with some serious roadblocks and we just may have encountered one that could seriously impact our adoption. Probably many of you who read this blog are in the process of adopting, so you already know what I am talking about. For those of you who may not know, today begins a giant cutback in the number of letters this governing body that is involved in Ethiopian adoptions will process. To make a long story short, they typically process 40 adoptions per day and now they are cutting back to 5 per day. At first, I thought, "this is bad, but it just means that we'll have to wait a little longer," but now that I am starting to understand the ramifications, I'm thinking that this could be devastating. It may mean that you get matched with a child and then have to wait a year or two before you actually get to bring them home. How would we do that? Part of me is in disbelief about it. I keep thinking that surely this is so ridiculous and so harmful for the children that nobody could actually let this happen. Adoptions simply can't work that way and the program will fail. Parents can't adopt a child that they can't take home. It's not adoption. Naturally, my mind goes to all the what if's. What will we do if this is actually the case? Would we still adopt? Will the program close it's doors?

If you have read this blog from the beginning, you know that I titled it "writing in pencil," because I knew that this adoption could take some serious twists and turns and that we would be holding our plans loosely. Easier said than done at this point. The past few weeks I have been more excited than ever about our adoption, because it seemed like this is really going to happen and we are actually getting close! Even earlier this week we have some dear family friends that emailed us from Kenya, offering to financially support our adoption. That email ramped me up even more, because I saw it as a reminder that God was still walking with us on our journey. So yesterday, with wind completely out my sails, I was stuck in the water, floating in the middle of the lake, asking God to whisper something . . . hoping that this whisper would fill my sails at least a little bit. I went back to the verses in Psalms that led us from fear of adopting, to making the call. It was a verse written specifically for me, in that moment. A verse that answered, so specifically, prayers that friends offered the night before.

It was Psalms 84:5-7. Blessed are those whose strength is in the you, who have set their hearts on pilgrimage. As they pass through the Valley of Baca (evidently a difficult place to be), they make it a place of springs, the autumn rains also cover it with pools. They go from strength to strength, till each appears before God in Zion.

There is no doubt in my mind that God enters into adoptions in such a tangible way and there is no doubt in my mind that it was truly a calling from Him that prompted our pilgrimage, so to speak. I also knew that it didn't mean it would be an easy road, but that we will go from "strength to strength" until our journey is complete. As God was whispering comfort from our adoption verses, he began to speak. The verses preceding our adoption verses, say, in effect, our souls ache for the house of God, emphasizing the sacredness and importance of home. Maybe I am reaching here, but it says, "even the sparrow has found and home, and the swallow a nest for herself." God values the home and desires us to not only have a home in heaven, but a home here on earth that prepares us for His great big house. He cares that these orphans have homes. He just does and I have to trust that he will bring one or more into this house, so that they can have a home.

Maybe all of this will just be a little speed bump and not a roadblock after all, but either way, I'll be praying that He has the perfect child for us, in the perfect time.

Number 14

I'll be keeping this one short. We moved AGAIN on Tuesday. We are now #14 for a boy, but with a few in front of us on hold for particular reasons, we are more like #10, for the time being. Now that we are getting closer, it is actually making it harder to wait, but I'm trying to keep it under control - remembering that I'm not in control. Dave thinks that we'll get a referral on March 23rd. I think that is very optimistic, especially for a pessimist. I on the other hand now predict that it will be around July that we get a referral. Neither of us have any clue though. Well, have a great weekend everyone!

Could 15 be the new 2?

We moved again this Wednesday, on the boy list! Number 15, baby! On Wednesday morning, I was thinking that it would probably be about this time next year that we will be bringing home a baby. But now I have no clue! It was the ELEVENTH family on the list that got the referral. Here's the situation. There a some families on hold for one reason or another (pregnancy, lost job, that sort of thing) and then there are some families that would prefer a child that is 0-12 months old. So, the referral made it's way all the way to number 11 before finding a family that felt like a 1 1/2 year old would fit well into their family right now. That changes everything! I know that there is at least one other family ahead of us that would definitely accept a referral for a baby over the age of one, so that means that we could the second family in line for a 12-24 month old boy. On the other hand, the hold families may return to active status and we may wait for 15 other families to accept referrals for infant boys, before it is our turn. All of the sudden, though, it felt like, we could get a referral any day now. WOW!!!!!! We might have to move that garage sale date up a little. One thing on my "to do list" this weekend, is to give my agency a special ring tone for when we get the call. Not that I think it will be happening any time real soon, but I'm sure that the eleventh family on the list was not even expecting that call! I've gotta tell you, that it is exciting and scary and everything in between to think that our child may be alive somewhere in Ethiopia at this very moment. WOW!

Garage Sale Time

We moved again! Yeah! This part of the whole adoption process is actually kinda fun. Every time your numbers move, you get to have a little mini celebration. It's feels like when I was pregnant and I would count down each week, but this time I'm not growing larger each week, I sleep through the night, I can paint my own toenails, and I don't feel nauseated. I know that day will come when it will become excruciatingly difficult. I can't even imagine how hard it will be after we see a picture of our child and then have to wait months to get him. A year ago at this time, it would only take a matter of weeks between getting a picture and bringing home your child, but now it is a matter of months. From what it sounds like, according to our agency and an agency that our friends are using, each child is now required to have more paperwork. Things like birth certificates, which are not at all standard in ET, death certificates for parents, which is really not standard, and a bunch of other paperwork. The problem is, is that "the other paperwork" is different for each case. In one case they may require 8 certain pieces of paper and then the next case may require 10 different pieces of paper. It seems weird to think that there is no due process or no list of paperwork that applies to each adoption, but that's just the way it is there. Agencies are trying to gather the correct papers before going to court, but it sounds like a real moving target. I feel bad for the agencies, because I know they are trying really hard to get it all right and when they don't, they get a lot of fingers pointing at them. I can only imagine that they celebrate with successful adoptions and their hearts hurt when things go wrong. You can all remind me of this if my adoption doesn't go smoothly with paperwork and court and I feel tempted to throw our agency under the bus. I'm sure I'll be there one of these days.

So, speaking of being there one of these days, we will be THERE, in Ethiopia, one of these days. I'm hopeful, that we will get matched sometime before the courts close in September and that we travel sometime before the end of the year. Since, we will now have to travel twice, we are talking $8,000 to $12,000 for airline tickets, depending on what time of year we go. So far, we have saved enough for our snacks in the airport and taxi fares, so we have a ways to go. With it feeling like we are getting a little closer, we are thinking of ways to raise some more money. Our very generous friends have offered their house to hold a garage sale on the Old North End garage sale day, where people come out by the hoards. However, we don't have that much to sell, yet. That is where you come in. If you were planning on bringing some old furniture or garage sale material to the Goodwill over the course of the next few months, then we would love to take it off your hands and try to sell it at the garage sale on the 2nd Sat. of June. Well, this is plenty long, so I'll wrap it up. Have a good one!

P.S. - the picture is of a platter of Ethiopian food from our local Ethiopian restaurant. YUM

Livin' it up!

We are getting closer, folks. We moved two spots for a girl and one spot for a boy today, bringing us to 17 spots away from our child!!!!! It actually feels like it is getting closer, which leaves me with mixed thoughts. Just like every child is different, every adoptive family is different. I can tell this, because I spy on quite a few adoptive families via their blogs. I have come across a few blogs, where people are in the same spot that we are . . . . . . . . waiting . . . . . . waiting to get matched. I've seen the word "aching" a few times in reference to this period of time. That is not where I am. Well, I take that back. I am aching, but I think it's still just left over ache from just having TWO kids. While I am super excited about meeting and knowing and growing to love our third (3 kids still seems like a lot to me) child, there are times when I also think, I've gotta live it up now. What if we're the family on the block, so to speak, that ends up with the nightmare adoption story. Yikes. What if our lives just never resume any sort of normal after all this? Ugh. So, that is why right now, I'm in the midst of making sure I live it up, which is actually a fun way to live. Now, if we weren't paying for an adoption, living it up would take on a new meaning, but I am making sure to treasure moments with our family now, instead of wishing time would pass faster in order to meet our new baby. For, example, we got to go on the marriage retreat with our church this past weekend, while the kids stayed with Grandma and Papa. What an incredible weekend, complete with renewal, great conversation and roller skating. I literally treasured it all, knowing that maybe next year we wouldn't be able to go. Well, I would go deep, but I've gotta go teach a little piano now.