Dreams

One of my lifelong dreams is to adopt a child (or two), but this post isn't about that sort of dream. This is about the dream I had last night. I keep hearing rumors that referrals are coming (and one just did -YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!), so every night before I go to bed I think about when our referral is going to come. On that note, it was no surprise that I dreamt about receiving our referral. It did not go down at all like I think it will in real life. Our agency called, we got a picture of a little girl, but she was about as pasty white as I am. When we inquired about her, she wasn't from Ethiopia at all. She was actually a "love child" from an executive doctor where Dave works and he was trying to hide this child by putting her up for adoption. Our agency told us that it was this child or no child. In the end we did accept her referral, but we were trying to figure out how to explain how our Ethiopian child was not Ethiopian. Then I went on to dream another strange dream, but I'll spare you all the details of that dream.

I still think that our referral could come tomorrow, in 8 months, or anywhere in between. Things still seem to be moving with ET adoptions, although not very quickly on the referral list.

Incomparable

Sometimes, I ponder the comparisons between pregnancy and adoption. There are a few similarities, a lot of differences and the same end result.

In pregnancy, the first trimester is marked by being tired, nauseated, and somewhat uncertain, until you get to that 12 week appointment. In adoption, I would describe the time between signing on with the agency and going on the waitlist as the first trimester. Gathering all the documents to create your dossier certainly takes a toll on your energy and each time the notary dates don't match or you have to send off for another expensive document that you can't find, a wave of nausea isn't far behind. The trainings can also bring to the surface a feeling of uncertainty, when you hear of all the risks of adoption. So, overall, the 1st trimesters are similar. Oh, and both of them also come with great amounts of excitement.

The second trimester in pregnancy is typically the honeymoon period. You are a little more relaxed about the pregnancy, you start to form an actual baby bump, instead of just looking bloated and you can even go on long walks (or runs if you are that type of person), knowing that a beautiful baby is forming inside. The second trimester in adoption would be all the time between going on the waitlist and accepting a referral. I would still say that it is the honeymoon period of the whole process, but it is not quite as honeymoonish as a pregnancy. You can certainly take long walks, the paperwork is mostly behind you and you get to celebrate every time you move up on the list. However, the big difference that I can see between pregnancy trimester 2 and adoption trimester 2, is that in adoption tri. 2, you have no idea when it is going to end. I mean, could you imagine being about 20 weeks pregnant for an undecided amount of time? You don't want to rush the honeymoon period, but you sure would want to know when it was going to end. At least I would.

The third trimester in pregnancy is definitely when you are ready to move that baby on out and start eating 3 meals a day, instead of 20 mini snacks every 30 minutes. You know that life will be hard and busy and sleep deprived, but you are just ready. The 3rd trimester is just not a lot of fun. And then the contractions - good golly! As bad as contractions were, I'm sure I would take that kind of pain over meeting your baby, leaving him, and then having no control over when you get to go and pick him up. Even though the 3rd trimester of adoption is going to be the most difficult by far, I'm still kinda ready to get there. I'm still enjoying the honeymoon 2nd trimester, but I'm having to remind myself to enjoy it, more often.

I wonder if I am thinking about pregnancy vs. adoption, because we have been on the waitlist for 9 months (and 1 day) now. WOW! In case you are wondering, I honestly think that paper pregnancy goes much faster, but maybe that is just because I have a couple of cuties to keep me busy all the time.

Well, hopefully, the next time I post, it is because we will have an update in numbers. The referrals have been awfully slow lately, but that is OK, because I'm just gonna sit here and talk myself into enjoying this nice long honeymoon.

Plane rides

This past weekend I was on a plane. I was headed to the semi-great state of Oklahoma. Not the most glamourous state in which to vacation, but certainly one of the friendliest and the one where my best friend resides. On the flight out, the gentleman next me, Oliver, (who looked much more like a Mark for sure) and I kicked up a conversation. We were sharing our life stories and naturally my life story found its way to the adoption portion of it. He seemed perplexed and intrigued by the idea, almost as if he had never heard of anyone doing such a thing. As I explained the process, it did sound a little crazy . . . "and then you hang out with them for a week and then come home for a few months . . . ." I mean, that is going to be CRAZY! At one point I also said, "just imagine this being a 20 hour flight and you have a baby that you barely know, he has gone through 15 diapers, because of intestinal issues, and he is crying unconsolably. That could be me one of these days!!!" So, Oliver, got to sit there and listen, while some of the reality set it. Naturally, I hope to get a non-intestinal issue baby, whose defense mechanism is to sleep when they encounter stressful situations, but I'm not holding my breath. Who knows though? Maybe the plane ride will actually be one where I can catch up on my trans-Atlantic movie watching?

Little by little the reality of it it is creeping in, as our numbers creep down (or jump, as they did last week). I used to read the posts from the yahoo group as if none of it pertained to me. Even a month ago, I was pretty uninterested in packing requirements, medicines to bring, locations to hit while in Addis and now everything is starting to feel more relevant to our story. We are now sitting at number 9 on the boy list, but it is actually like number 6, because there are a few people on hold in front of us. Number 6! We literally could get a call today, or we could be sitting at 6 for awhile.

Right now I am still just trying to live and plan life in the present. This last weekend was evidence of that as I took a treasured trip to see my best friend, meet her 8 month old for the first time, eat some amazing homemade food, and run a 5K together in the pouring rain. I am taking in events like these at a heightened level, because trips like this one will, mostly likely, be very limited for at least a year after we get our little guy.

Well, friends, that's all for now. See ya around, and have a blessed day.

Elizabeth, Mari, and I getting some frozen yogurt to prepare for our race the next day.
Picking up our packet. It was quite a show! There were 25,000 runners in the Oklahoma Memorial Races.