It Doesn't Look Good

I hate to rush to any conclusions, here, but the adoption front doesn't look good. I only say that, because things continue to be very slow with the referral numbers and there seems to be some chatter on various blogs as to the reason why. Overall, it sounds like both the US and ET are getting pressure to be sure that all adoptions are ethical. I feel very certain that our agency does everything possible to ensure that their adoptions are ethical. Naturally my biggest fear is that they would close Ethiopia and not allow any more adoptions. Of course, I would rather them close it than to blindly allow baby trafficking, but I'm sure you all understand what I'm saying. I would assume that parents that have already been through the Ethiopian adoption process were a little afraid of the same scenario, so again, I'm not saying it is going to happen at all, but it is on my radar right now.

I must say that the title of my blog is actually a great little reminder for me in this whole uncertain process. We will just keep writing in pencil. We don't know what direction God will take us, but we are certain that we didn't make a mistake by jumping on this train to who knows where? It may mean that we have a little Ethiopian child in 6 months, or it could mean that we adopt a child from down the street in 5 years. You just never know. A couple in my parents church started an adoption in Haiti and it was going to take a LONG time to get their kids, but then the earthquake hit and within weeks they had their kids. Who knows what strange twists and turns adoption will take? I am praying that Ethiopia stays open, but ultimately, I'm praying for whoever joins our family in the future.

A Much Different Kind of Baby!

Today I got an amazing gift! It's not quite as great as a baby, but I will be babying it! My parents, to whom I am ever grateful to (and for) were willing to part with their Conservatory Yamaha grand piano and send it my way. It is the piano that I grew up playing. It's weird how when I was growing up, practicing for an hour or two seemed like an eternity, while I would give anything to capture and hour of two of practicing now! I'll admit, today, my kids were a touch neglected, while I tried to acclimate my new ivories. Compared to what I had, it is like going from a Chevette to a Rolls Royce. It is so exciting. Dave spent about an hour working on "I Love Coffee, I Love Tea" and trying to play his right and left hand together on the black keys. He's already complaining of sore hands. Even Spencer was inspired to play his only song - Peter Peter Pumpkin Eater. I wonder if our kids will play and if I'll be their teacher?

On the adoption front - no change. I think there is an overall slow down in Ethiopia, so we're just hangin'. Just hoping that eventually God will bring about the right child at the right time. I'm sure he will. We haven't heard anything about the little boy that we inquired about that is 3, except that the other family is still waiting to get test results back. We are still pretty sure the other family will be moving forward with the adoption. The cool thing about even thinking about getting a child off of the waiting child list is that we actually can consider it at this point, because of the anonymous giver. I still wonder who they were and if they know the kind of impact they have had in our process mentally, spiritually and ,of course, financially. Maybe it will even mean that we get two kids. Hold on - I'm getting a little carried away here! On that note, goodnight all.

Christmas and All

I really do love Christmas! Even though it can be stressful and crazy, it sure is fun and it has become increasingly more fun with kids that kind of get it. Of course, they are still a little more into the presents, than in the amazing gift of the birth of Jesus, but hopefully, that will come. At least when you ask Spencer who's birthday it is, he doesn't say "Moses'" anymore, so we are on the right track.

Last weekend, we got to go to Pagosa for the beginning of a HUGE snow storm. We got to ski one day (in over a foot of powder), of which Spencer skied the 2nd half with us, and we got some serious sledding in, too. It was great to see most of the extended family on Dave's side and to do a little early celebrating. The last couple of days have been spent at home, with my parents, which has also been a ton of fun. I found my first two geocaches on our first annual Christmas hike.

In the world of adoption, not too much is happening. The process seems to really be slowing down, but I can't say that it is some big surprise. When I think of international adoption, the words fast, smooth, and easy are far from my lips. I think it is more the rule than the exception that international adoptions are slow, full of waiting, and full of ambiguity. I keep wondering if we'll have another one running around the Christmas tree next year. Dave thinks, yes, and I think, no, which is weird, because typically I am the optimist. Either way, we'll at least be closer by next year.

Referrals still exist!

Yeah! Finally a little movement with referrals. It probably won't affect us in the long run, because we just moved one number closer on the infant girl list, but I was just relieved to see a referral and to know that the world of adoption didn't close it's doors and forget to tell us. So, yeah and yeah for the family that just got the referral. I can't even imagine what that day will be like!!!!

So, I'm assuming that the family that has priority for the little CUTIE I talked about in my last post, will accept his referral. I guess they are getting more medical testing done. Supposedly, it will happen in a couple of weeks, so that probably means about a month in adoption language. I think I feel totally OK about it. Leah is 2 years old right now and I just LOVE the age, (minus the temper tantrums). I love hearing new words every single day, I love seeing her laugh at things that are actually funny, and I love seeing her learn to jump, stand on one foot and just do new things each day. I would kind of miss that stage, if we got a three year old. I'm sure an older child would be learning new things and just sucking up information daily, too. Anyway, I'm so happy to see the little guy find a home either way. I'm sure I'll be a little sad (selfishly) when I hear of his official acceptance, but that is OK.

Wow - while I was writing this ANOTHER REFERRAL rolled in and this time it was for a little boy, so now both the girl list and the boy list will move! How exiting to finally get to change some numbers!!!!!

Ten Percent Chance

I'll just jump right in. There still haven't been any changes to our numbers. I'm sure our agency cringes every time the phone rings as many, many families are waiting for a little good news. I certainly wouldn't want to be fielding those calls. However, there is this crazy slight possibility that maybe by some slight chance if the stars all align in the right way, that something could change for us. There is this cutie little kiddo on the waiting kids list that we inquired about the other day. We've had our eye on the little fellow for awhile, but his status changed from special needs to not special needs and the second I heard that, I called. (I know that sounds terrible and if we ended up with a special needs child, then that would be that, but anyway . . . ) Evidently, another family or two called before us and are considering him, but we are on a short list at this point for this little guy. On one hand, I think, I don't want to be doing this just to speed things up, but on the other hand, we said we'd be open to wherever this process leads. So, again, it all comes down to just knowing that God will place the right child into our family. So basically, we could add to our family anywhere between a few months to a few years. For now, we are loving the Christmas season with our family as it stands.

Self Proclaimed Stuffer

I haven't written anything in awhile, because it has been awhile since anything in the adoption world has happened. It has been over a MONTH since we have moved on the referral list. After the first couple of weeks, it was fine, because it's in God's hands, right? Well, now I think I might be starting to panic a little. You see. . .I am like a walking manifestation of anxiety symptoms. You would never know it, because I am seemingly an easy going person and I love to laugh and I am really funny (just kidding). I think I'm a stress stuffer, because I rarely think I am stressed. I stuff my stress, so it manifests itself in physical ways and then I stress about those. All of that to say, I think I am either dying of some disease or I'm getting a little stressed about the list not moving. This morning, I decided that it is probably the latter. The fact that I haven't even wanted to write on my blog or check the list is a testament to my self proclaimed stress stuffer syndrome. I don't even want to think about the adoption, because it's a little to disappointing right now:( I really, truly, and deeply believe that God has the perfect child for us and will bring that child to us at the perfect time, but it is definitely not a belief derived from feelings, because I certainly don't feel that way right now. I'll look for a couple of semi interesting pictures. There is one of Leah's first skiing trip and one of Spencer at his Thanksgiving party.

Kenya

In my last post, I said I'd spice this one up with some pictures from the next step on my adoption journey. Well, come to find out, I can't find my scrapbook from Kenya. But that's cool. I guess I'll have to go again and snap a few more pictures. I'm sure I'll spend all weekend looking for that book, now. I'll let that go for now. You'll have to use your imagination, I guess.

Sooooooooo. . . Back in 2002, I went to Kenya with 16 friends, on a mission trip. The trip initially was was designed so that the first week we would work on some building projects for Daystar University and then the second week, we would climb Mt. Kenya. Only 10 people were originally going to be able to go, because that is how many you could have in a guided trip up the mountain. Well, 16 people signed up, but only 10 could still hike. I specifically remember thinking how unfair it would be if I wasn't able to hike the mountain, because I had gotten my application in early. As luck would have it, I was playing indoor soccer at the time, and I got some bone chips and then broke my toe, right around the time that we had to decide if we wanted to climb the mnt. or stay back in Nairobi. I had to choose to stay back, because I didn't know if my ankle and toe would be able healed completely by then. Coincidence or power of God? as my friend friend Mari used say.

The six of us that stayed back in Nairobi worked at a Mother Teresa home for disabled women and children. Another day we went to a different Mother Teresa home where there were about 16 babies laying on a giant bed. The one that I held was beautiful little Beatrice. She had two thumbs on one of her hands, which is most likely why her parents dropped her off at the Mother Teresa home. Many of them had physical problems that could easily be dealt with if they were in the US. Anyway, that little Beatrice was a little heart stealer. I wonder where she is now??? After holding her, I again, just knew that some day, I would adopt.

As a little side note, it turned out that our hostel was only 15 minutes away from the Compassion child that I had sponsored for 5 years at that time. I got to meet her and her mom and brother. I would love to post pictures of that, too, but they were in the same scrapbook that is MIA. But that's cool.

There ya have it - the next defining moment in my adoption story. Now, we are just hoping that the list starts moving a little. It's officially been the longest we have gone without seeing any movement on the lists, since we got on it. However, we are encouraged, because our agency recently joined up with 2 other orphanages and there was mention, that there are already kids assigned with completed paperwork. I'm hoping that means that there will be some referrals coming down the pike (or is it pipe?) Anywho . . . I hope you all have a wonderful Thanksgiving!!!!!

It began at 14

It's been over a week, since the last referral, so I'm hitting the "bummin' zone. Of course, last Friday when my kids were CA-RA-ZY, I was thinking that I really am not in any huge hurry to add three to the mix. When the numbers stop moving, though, I get a little sad. So, while we wait for more referrals, I'll tell a little more of the start of our adoption story.

I think I was about 14 years old when the stories about the Romanian babies were hitting the news. The babies were pretty much just left in their cribs all day long to take care of themselves. I remember asking my mom if she would adopt one of them and I'm pretty sure she thought I was kidding. At that time, I was pretty sure that I would adopt when I grew up. So, there we have it. The very first step that has brought us to this point. There are about 2 more steps along the way, but I'll save them for other days where nothing is happening. I'll try to spice up the next post a little with some pictures of step number 2 toward adoption, so please come back. Until then, have a great day.

Hi neighbors!

I had two comments on previous posts from people that are right around me on the waitlist. How fun! It just brightened my day a little. There was no more list movement this week - just a couple of fake outs (new postings from the agency, but they weren't referrals). So, neighbors, thanks for saying hi and we just might be taking a little jaunt over to Ethiopia someday, together. Hopefully, sooner, rather than later, huh? Maybe I'll see some of you at the training tomorrow. I'll leave you all with a picture of our dog Charlie after finding a feather boa lying around.

That was fast!

A little more movement!

Inching

We're inching closer, folks! Just when I thought a whole Monday through Friday was going to pass without a single referral, things changed! On Friday afternoon, a family accepted a referral for siblings and so we got to move up on both of our lists. At this point we are still just on the infant boy and infant girl list. Surprisingly enough, Dave is all for jumping on the sibling list, too. However, as ungraceful as I am with only 2 kids, I'm not sure that it would be a wise choice. I mean, I feel like it has only been recently that I have managed to get at least 3 decent food groups on their dinner plates. Come to think of it, that has only been since Dave has started doing more of the cooking. See what I mean? Anyway, I'm not worried about it. I'm still just excited to be on our current lists and done with the brunt of the paperwork.

Be cool, Be cool!

"Be cool, be cool" That is what I am trying to tell myself. Once in awhile I get a little uptight about the growing wait in front of us and I have to just take a breath and be cool. When I talked to our agency this week, I was asking when I should start this next round of paperwork and she said that we would most likely not get a referral for at least a year, so we should hold off for awhile. In my mind, I'm thinking that it could easily be a couple years until we get a child. All that being said, it is totally fine if it takes two or even three years. Practically and financially speaking, it would be great. If it looks like the process will continue to slow down, then we may even put our names on the sibling list. This is where I have to remind myself that God has been soooo present this far and he will continue to direct our steps until the time we meet our child or children! Right now, I am super excited to be the parent of two awesome kids. Yesterday was her 2nd birthday, so I'll sign off now with a couple of photos of our crazy TWO YEAR OLD whose favorite present was her new "bag" (purse).
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Halloween

'm sure that Halloween is just as much fun now as it was when I was little. Hearing Spencer's super loud and drawn out "Trick or Treeeeeaaaaat," was funny every single time and the way that Leah just stood there and waited for more candy at each door, was a little embarrassing. Now the question is, what do we do with this years costume? I spend quite a bit of time trying to guess what age and gender our child will be, but who knows? Here is my guess. I think we'll get a little boy about 14 months old. However, I can't seem to get rid of things, just based on a guess. We may end up with 2? Maybe a girl? You just never know exactly what turns everything will take. Until then, I'll just keep filling boxes with more outgrown clothes and wait until we know for sure.

Who in the World?

I am writing in pencil. I don't know what this adoption will look like, but I have been surprised by many moments already in this journey. Just when you think you know something and you proclaim it to be true, something changes. That is one reason I was hesitant to start this blog, but now that I'm making the disclaimer that I'm writing in pencil, I know, that you know, that whatever I say, can be erased and rewritten. For instance, I didn't want to tell everyone that we were adopting until our homestudy was approved. What if we didn't pass? How embarrassing? But here is the deal. It's not my deal - it is God's and we said that from the beginning. After this week we are even more sure that God is continuing to walk with us in our adoption.

It happened to us. Me and Dave! I've heard of it happening before, but I didn't expect it to happen to us. Our referral fee was paid for by a grant that we never applied for. A mistake perhaps or more likely, an anonymous giver??? All I know is that somehow it is from the hand of God and He has used someone very special to weave a miracle into the life of our family and the life of a little baby in Ethiopia, somewhere. Money was one of our biggest roadblocks to starting this adventure, but someone (I'm sure it was my mom) said that we would never know how powerful God is until we give him the opportunity to show us. And he is showing us in a mighty way through so many generous people. Thank you God and thank you friends. WOW!

Well, at the risk of making this post too long, I'll end my first post, but just know that I have a lot of catching up to do.